Carry Me Forever

By Hazel Holland

Here's another water color that I painted during the same period of time that I painted "Woodland Wonders"... over 40 years ago. I was 22 at the time and had only been married 2 months when I was sent away to this TB hospital in Kalamazoo, Michigan for 2 months.

I needed Jesus to be my Shepherd and carry me through this very difficult time in my life. I know He did.

He will carry you through difficult times in your life, too. Even though you may not feel His touch you can enter into His Heart and know that He is your faithful Shepherd, and His love will carry you through.

Going Through Deep Waters

By Hazel Holland

Like the other water color paintings that I've recently shared from my past, I also painted this one at a time in my life when I felt like I was going to drown in my grief.

But as I began to paint this picture I remembered the following words of Scripture: "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you" (Isaiah 43:2).

Although it felt like I was not able to breathe, I did. Although it felt like I was going to drown, I didn't. Although I felt helpless and hopeless and didn't know how I was going to be able to keep my head above water, the Lord became my strength and held my head high. He lifted me up out of the pit and placed my feet on firm ground. He brought me out into the spacious place of His heart where there was plenty of room for me to learn to begin to trust in His love...

(You might notice that I signed my last name as "Lonberg" in this painting... that was before I had my name changed back to what it is now).

Islands of Power

By Hazel Holland

Here's another watercolor that I painted over thirty years ago that I found hidden away in a box in the garage. Apparently I had painted several abstract watercolors at the time as I struggled to make meaning out of painful realities that were governing my life.

When I looked at this picture the other day I was immediately reminded of a post that I had written back in 2008 about God's failsafe power system. So I decided to rewrite the article and post it along with this painting on my "Sound the Trumpet blog" at the link below, because God has redeemed my past.

http://sound-the-trumpet.blogspot.com/2011/11/failsafe-power.html

Broken Pieces of My Life

By Hazel Holland

I found eight more watercolors that I painted over 30 years ago stashed away in that dusty old box in my garage... I'm kind of embarrassed to post this one here because it not only reveals that contemporary art is NOT my forte, but it also exposes my past brokenness.

In my struggle to find meaning out of the pain and heartbreak of divorce, I decided to paint the confusing mixture of feelings I was experiencing inside. This painting depicts the many layers within my heart that needed healing. At the time they were being torn apart and ripped into irregular shaped pieces. The colors used represent the various emotions I was experiencing at the time...

The dark shades of green, brown, and black at the bottom of the painting represent my depression. But the worse feelings of all were my unending feelings of hopelessness and abandonment that stretched out in lengthy plateaus...

The layers of blue represent my feelings of isolation and rejection that I had towards myself. Since blue is a cool color I chose it to represent the cold and harsh feelings I had toward myself from an early age. I didn't know who I was because I had not yet experienced the intimacy of knowing Jesus through the Spirit, neither had I yet been overwhelmed by the love in the Father's heart for me.

The red represents Christ's blood and His love for me that covers my sins. This was painted more from my knowledge of the Scriptures, than from my life in the Spirit. Although He knew me, I didn't yet know Him. Although I loved Jesus Christ, I didn't yet KNOW Him personally.

The layers of blue and red shades together depict the struggle I was having in allowing God to come into my desert places of deep brokenness. The thick walls (blue colors) that I had erected to protect my heart also kept me from experiencing God's heart for me.

The lighter colors represent my moments of catching a fleeting glimpse of the "light", and hoping that one day it would be more than just a glimpse. I wanted to feel joy again. The light colors of pink represented faith.

I wanted to believe that as soon as I began to heal from my rejection and abandonment issues the walls would come down. So the painting depicts the hope I had in the mist of my despair. Although I couldn't see through the darkness at the time, I painted the lighter shades, hoping that one day the clouds of depression would vanish and reveal the warmth of the sun (Son).

The yellow and orange shades at the top of the painting represent the "Light" I was searching for. That was before I came to understand that "Light" is a Person, and joy is one of His gifts through the Spirit!

Now I'm thankful that I didn't throw this painting away because it's a reminder to me, and hopefully to anyone who reads this post that God is faithful! He will more than finish the good work He has begun in you and I.

He will more than heal all of our broken places with His agape love. He will draw us to Himself with His love and offer us His heart where we can find ultimate rest in Him 24/7. His place of rest and intimacy in the Spirit is glorious we cannot keep Him to ourselves.

The Music Maker

By Hazel Holland

Here's another watercolor that I painted over thirty years ago that I found stashed away in a box in the garage. It was my first try at doing contemporary art...and my last!

I remember wanting to make beautiful music in my heart in order to drown out the sadness that I felt inside. But I didn't personally know the only One who could give me the notes to play and the words to sing.

But He created a hunger inside of me for something more than what I knew. The Relentless Pursuer never gave up on pursuing me with His love. He won't give up on you either, because it's your heart that He's after.

Woodland Wonders

By Hazel Holland

Here's another water color that I painted 44 years ago while I was confined to a TB hospital in Kalamazoo, Michigan for two months. Apparently I got a fungus in my lungs that looked like TB, but thankfully wasn't.

In order to lift my spirits and forget about the fact that I was wearing a mask over my nose and mouth 24/7, I escaped into the wonderful world of art where I was free to roam the woodland and joyfully take in the wonders of God's creation.

Now as I look back to that dark time in my life I am amazed that I painted a watercolor that reflects such lightness and joy. The Fall colors remind me of how much I miss the four seasons out here in California, and how I'm looking forward to enjoying them again when I move next Spring.

Finding My Rest

By Hazel Holland

As I was cleaning out my garage the other day I came across a box that contained several watercolor paintings that I did over thirty years ago. They were tucked away inside a forgotten folder because I saw little value in my work.

It's quite amazing to me now that something as beautiful as this little bird was discarded by me as having little value. As I think back to that time in my life it was probably more of a reflection of the way I saw myself rather than the way I perceived God's feathered creation.

Today as I looked at this painting it brought me great joy as I realized that I have come to find my true rest in Him alone. Jesus has become my Sabbath rest 24/7.